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Showing posts with label law suits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law suits. Show all posts

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Rebate Hate

a.k.a. Bait Hate


As an individual with fifteen years experience in the advertising industry, it's both professionally and personally depressing to realize the degree by which customer service has deteriorated. It's spreading this country like a plague.

Gone are the days of Mr. Oleson's Mercantile where people skipped happily out the door with an apple, some flour and a good story to share when they got home. Hello to the days of law suits and outsourcing customer service while ensuring strict adherence to the "bottom line" regardless of quality.

Today's consumer experiences can best be likened to a salmon feverishly trying to swim upstream.

Why, then, are many consumer experiences so unfulfilling? So frustrating? One reason is found in the nucleus of that ball of frustration. The clever marketing bait: THE REBATE.

"So, What's In It For Me?"

I recently had the pleasure of renewing my service contract with AT&T for a new PDA. You see, my last PDA and I agreed to terminate our hate/hate relationship after two years of mutually tormenting each other. No more dropped calls. No more buttons that didn't work. No more cursing.

A Victim No More?

On January 6th, I set my renewed hope on a Blackberry Curve, which I have since been thrilled with. I skipped into the office the day after my online purchase boasting about how I scored it for 100 clams. My office mates didn't understand how I did it. "It was easy," I said.

All I had to do was: 1) Renew my commitment with my service provider for another two years. Who cares about the fact that I've paid thousands of dollars over the past five years alone to my AT&T for the privilege of being their customer; 2) Pay an $18 upgrade fee. Again, for the privilege of upgrading my sub-optimal experience; 3) Pay $200 for the PDA and; 4) Ah, yes, get my $100 rebate, which means I'm really paying $100.

Apparently, getting this rebate wasn't going to be easy.

I later learned AT&T went out of their way to make getting the advertised rebate extremely difficult. The new PDA was shipped without a rebate form. The order confirmation emails I received mentioned nothing of the rebate. Best of all, the online rebate form was taken OFFLINE from ATT.com on January 20th when it was promptly replaced with "fresher bait."

So while the rebate promotion period is valid until March 4th, the ability to find the rebate form was removed six weeks before it expires? That's hateful!

After 45 minutes on the phone with an AT&T representative, I was finally emailed the rebate form. After completing the form which asked for me to regurgitate in writing all the information AT&T already had on file AND deface the product packaging in order to rip-off the "IMEI Proof of Purchase" label required for the rebate process, I now await my rebate in about 8 weeks. Two months.

Really!?!

Rebates Decoded

There's a term in the industry called "breakage."

  • From the marketer's perspective, breakage is what happens when someone doesn't redeem an offer you extend as bait. For example, not capitalizing on a rebate you were entitled to but forgot to send back in. For marketers, breakage is like beefing up the bottom line (profit). Like realized savings. Or a rebate, right? WRONG!
  • From a consumer's perspective, breakage occurs when they get screwed.

Rebates are nothing more than a maddening exercise. Rebates require flawless attention to detail, a timely response and lots of patience as you wait for whatever it is (a check or rebate card) to show up weeks after you purchase something. Personally, I think I could perform the perfect balance beam back-flip with better odds than navigating this life without any rebates gone unfulfilled.

In the case of my Blackberry purchase, the "Promotion Card," should I be lucky enough to ever see it, will only be valid for 120 days - just 60 days longer than the time it took to wait for the card in the first place. So there's more opportunity for breakage if I don't use the funds on the card before they expire.


If you try and use the cards for amounts greater than what's on the card, brace yourself. You have to use the precise amount on the card or a lesser amount. I spent many a maddening
moment at the POS (that's Point Of Sale for you people not in the business) wondering why my card was constantly being denied before I figured out this little nugget. Thus, promotion cards don't "work" like gift cards. So much for convenience.

Tricks Of The Bait Trade

There are six tricks I've learned that are simple for sharing:

1) First off, always get your rebate form in your hands wherever you were enticed with it. In my case, I should have known to print the rebate form from the website the day I bought the phone vs. expecting my provider to take care of me by enclosing it with the product;

2) After making copies of everything you return by snail mail, make yourself a reminder to ensure you get your promotion card as you will most likely forget about it after a two-month fulfillment cycle;

3) When your incentive card finally arrives, RUN - don't walk - to the nearest retailer and redeem that sucker for all it's worth. Putting it in your wallet or purse will likely result in what?
That's right, breakage!;

4) Strive to redeem the card one time for the full amount originally loaded on the card;

5) If you don't adhere to #4 above, make sure you know the remaining amount on the card by putting a sticky with the leftover dollars and cents on the card and tell the salesperson the exact amount to process; the balance you'll have to make good with another form of payment. Let's hope it's not another "promotion card" and;

6) Light candles and pray hard to whatever Greater Form you believe in during this process.

Red. With Envy.

I look back now and wish this consumer experience could require a little less involvement by me in order to get what's due. Until then, the hate for the rebate rages within.

Ultimately, your ability to successfully navigate the choppy waters of rebates depends on how well you fish, or (quite literally) cut bait.

More On Rebates Link #1

More On Rebates Link #2

Sunday, January 20, 2008

My First Post!

I'm 41 years old and I just created my first Blog! Weeeee! Thanks, Blogger!

I'm not sure really where to start other than to say that I'm going to test the waters with this puppy and see how it goes. I hope at some level those of you reading this will find some peace knowing that my life will always be more tragic than yours. Don't get me wrong - I have a great life - but the experiences I've shared as a consumer victim aren't anything I'd wish on anyone. For that reason I'm proclaiming myself THE WORLD's GENUINE CONSUMER VICTIM. Sorry, Rosa.


This week, a co-worker urged me to start documenting my consumer nightmares-turned-life-dramas because they, well, were just so damned hilarious that certainly I'd want to share them with others.


I think most of my "vignettes" (let's call them that for now) are best served in person with the style, conviction and sweaty brow that is all my own. Some say I missed my calling for stage but I think I'm probably better off serving those of you on the streets of America. After all, if only the fun people were on stage or TV, how much fun would it be, say, chatting by the company water cooler or perhaps waiting in the check-out line if the "blue-collar performers" like me weren't there?

To that point, I think it's appropriate that I develop some code of honor for this Blog. Something to help steer it in a positive direction. Something like this:

" I, Patrick, being of self-proclaimed
sound mind and moderate health, do hereby
promise to report the truth and only the truth.
I will ensure I "keep it real*" when reporting
the chuckholes of my life.

I yearn to be a great protector of the unfortunate
from the big, bad entities (be them people, or companies
comprised of people) who try to get away with something
at other's expense."

* All great statements have legal associated with them and my statement above is no exception. First off, let's define what legal is. Legal is the small text (like this) that accompanies type that is set in a teeny-weeny font and is hidden somewhere obscure so that lawyers "cover off" on the exceptions to great marketing statements or claims. Trust me, I know. Legal is small because they hope you don't read it. But things called "law suits" make legal a tedious necessity. Thus, all legal disclaimers result in huge blocks of small text that nobody reads because if they did, their heads would explode. Legal is the reason we wear glasses. So, to sum it up, "Legal has ruined my vision." I'm sorry I had to sink to their level by typesetting this in a small font, but I have to prove a point. So, if your eyes are ruined, like mine, the next time you receive a great offer, IGNORE THE BIG FONT and read the small font first - this is the "real offer" you will get.

That all being said, by "real" what I mean is that I will pepper no more than 8% (+ or - 2%) of my stories with unadulterated bullcrap. Bullcrap is defined by me as the spice of life. The nuts in ice cream. The beer at the end of a long day. The "wiggle room" of the truth. Why we get up each day. The reason you are reading this now.


There. That's not bad, huh?

Well what about you? What kind of commitment are you going to make to me? I mean, I'm not charging for this thing, am I? I'm not going to put myself out there if you have no responsibilities. Well, then - here's what I expect of you:


" I, [ insert your name here ], being a guest of
Patrick's Original Blog
do hereby promise to read Patrick's life drama and learn from it.
I will laugh, and/or cry and share his experiences with the people
I care about whether they be known or unknown.

Real. Or "mostly-real."

There. That's good. Light and fluffy crap.

Well. On with the show! Stay tuned for my first tragedy. Read it for what it is and comment (or not) as you see fit.

Blog Update: 2/24/08:

How interesting the results from my first Consumer Victim Poll (shown at right)! A full 100% of you voting about legal disclaimers felt that they were confusing or subjected you to something you were not aware of!

The "Proof Is In The Pudding" as they say and legal footnotes, although "helpful" or "required" from the inside of corporate America are, in fact, misleading and damaging from a consumer perspective.

Keep reading the legal, folks!