Saturday, July 25, 2009

American Home Shaft

I'm not sure where the saying "peace of mind" came from, but when I think of American Home Shield, I think "piece of crap."

American Home Shaft (as I call them) has been taking my money each month for over 10 years. I pay them because I'm supposed to have someone to call on that makes my life simpler; a company to call on when the going gets tough. Well, that’s what they want you to believe.

Recently, I've had the chance to see how AHS really responds in periods of crisis... and it's pretty damn ugly.

In The Heat Of It

Imagine living in Texas in summer. It's hot and the sun is beating down on your head like a heavyweight boxer beating the face of his wet noodle opponent. Imagine it being 100+ degrees. You retreat indoors only to find that your air conditioning isn't working.

It's actually hotter than Brad Pitt wearing Wonder Sauna Hot Pants in a sauna in Hades during a hot summer day heatwave! (Yeah, I know - that's hot!)

Hotter inside than out. Your heartbeat quickens and you pace around like Ed Grimley only to realize there's nowhere to go. You pick up the phone and talk to some jerkwad from American Home Shaft who tells you it'll be 4 days until they have the time to send someone out.

4 Days? Really?

How would you like to come sit in this hot box for 4 days while I sit and watch your automatic deposit go into my account?

Turns out - loosely translated, “American Home Shield” means “no sense of urgency” and they’ve mastered the art of that to the “t”.

The best part is that when something isn’t fixed right and you call back in, they send out the same company that can’t get their shit straight or else you have to pay a new fee. Three cheers for apathy!

I start to wonder if the companies that align with Home Shaft aren’t just bottom feeders that can’t make it in the real world; companies that suck and they accept it. So they flock to the mother fu$king shiphole who brings them customers. Customer service doesn’t matter because “they aren’t our customers,” right?

Shaft Attack

After investing June and July 2009 into hoping and praying that someone in the AHS network will know how to get an air system working, we gave up. Well, I said it first so that means we broke it off, right? Well, not really. Home Shaft stopped returning our phone calls so we’re on the search for our own AC company.

Shaft - what customers do you serve?

Are you looking in the mirror?